Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
