what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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