oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
