I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
