yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
