My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can't turn off my feet"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
