was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
