Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
