Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize