I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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