Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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