yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
