It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
