You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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