bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
And then he peed in my hair
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