I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
