i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My vagina is officially offended.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
