I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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