I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize