Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize