The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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