Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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