In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
