You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
