Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So vagazzling was a success
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
