grandma shit on top of the toilet
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
