I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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