Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize