She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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