We won't sleep together?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Quick, to the slutcave!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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