Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's shark week go big or go home
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
