i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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