I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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