I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize