I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
