A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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