if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
