You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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