My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
