btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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