So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
