there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
