I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
