I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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