I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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