just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
