if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
