I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
