i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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