Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
