You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
