She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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