This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
