Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Green mimosas i think yes
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
