I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
