Welp...herpes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
