So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
