Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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