I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
