how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
