Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
