He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I believe in your delicious
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