Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
