do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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