what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
