In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
