Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
