they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
