Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
