I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
